Have you ever had an expectation set for yourself, doing whatever it took to pursue it?
The hard truth
For those nine months I made sure to continue eating healthy. Determined not to gain any extra weight, I continued to get in plenty of exercise in as well. I didn’t want to be healthy just for myself. I wanted to ensure our baby got everything she needed to be healthy as well. Despite my best efforts, I still gained extra weight during the pregnancy. Thirty-five pounds is a pretty common weight gain during pregnancy. However, I knew with the rate I lose weight…. it was going to take a good bit of time to work off.
I had the expectation that I could avoid gaining the extra weight as long as I tried hard enough. Nine months later, looking in the mirror was quite discouraging for me. I had worked so hard to lose the 70 pounds I had finally managed to lose. And now, it felt like I was back at the starting point. I kept mentally seeing what I had achieved before having gotten pregnant and then seeing the opposite in the mirror. I didn’t regret anything for a moment; having our baby was worth every pound I ended up gaining. It was just more mental stuff I had to get through postpartum that I had planned on.
I found a Bible verse that God began to lay upon my heart. It truly helped me through that new season. I can’t remember how I found it, but I know God had me find it right when I needed to. It says,
“…I forget everything that is behind me and look forward to that which is ahead of me. 14 My eyes are on the crown. I want to win the race and get the crown of God’s call from heaven through Christ Jesus.”
Come to Jesus Moment
This hit me like a ton of bricks. I wasn’t comparing myself to other women. I was comparing myself to…myself, my FORMER self. Seeing previous pictures of me and looking in the mirror was causing some serious comparison issues. So when I read this verse and God started talking to me about it, I had to change. I couldn’t continue to allow myself to compare myself to who I was once before. God didn’t want me stuck in the past. He had new things for me to learn. They would help continue to shape me into who He wanted me to be.
So I wrote these verses down and taped it beside my mirror. I wasn’t going to keep looking in the mirror pining after what once was. It was time for me to refocus. It was time for me to start counting my blessings instead of the numbers on the scale between the nine month gap. I know of women who have said they didn’t want to have children because it “would ruin their body”. Sure, things change…. but don’t let a selfish reason like that keep you from experiencing one of the most beautiful miracles you can experience on this earth.
I’ve held tightly to those verses these 18 months. I’ve worked hard at getting to my healthiest level of fitness again. The road definitely has been longer than I wanted it to be, but I’ve grown more out of it. Health and fitness is just a portion of my journey. As the last verse alludes to, I have to keep pushing towards the prize God has for me. I’m a mom now. My responsibility isn’t just be a helpmate for my husband. Now it’s to also guide our daughter (and future children Lord willing) to know Him someday.
I don’t want this lesson to only apply to those in postpartum. This lesson can definitely apply to apply seasons of life.
How can this apply to you
Maybe…
You’re missing the innocent person you once were. Someone hurt you. Now, you can’t look at life through the whimsical lens you once did…
You’re missing the availability to spend time with friends like you used to. Certain responsibilities, like work and family, are not giving you the flexibility to do so…
You’re missing the life you once had because of sin you allowed to rule over you…
You’re missing the carefree person you used to be before the heartbreak of infertility and/or miscarriage(s)
But God
The list can go on, and it can be so painful. But God has so much planned for the person you are right now. Don’t let Satan steal from you the blessings God’s giving you right now because your heart and mind are stuck in the past.
“ Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning.
God has joy and peace He wants to gift you right now if you’d just walk along with Him in the present. It may not happen over night. But as you practice at drawing your heart and focus to the things He has in store for you today, it will become easier.
Call to action
Have you been struggling to keep focused on the present?
What is in the past the Satan keeps drawing your mind to? How is it affecting you today?
Please feel free to comment down below sharing your own story. I’d love to hear from you!
Thanks so much for your support in reading my content! If you missed my last blog post (“From Isolation to Healing: God’s Transforming Power”), go check it out! You can also find me on YouTube by pressing this link.
Always cheering you on,
Cassondra